Dictionary.com defines one aspect of familiar as unduly intimate; too personal; taking liberties; presuming… Fuel those aspects with copious amounts of alcohol and welcome to our derailed weekend with an all-too “familiar” scenario that played out with a sister who has devotedly embraced alcohol and low self-esteem despite the many losses of relationships, opportunities, and joy, in the same way I have embraced the 100 extra burdensome pounds I carry daily. I am forgiving of her identity crutches, because I am forgiving of my own. Forgiving, yes, tolerant – NOPE – Especially when alcohol is wielded to belittle, berate, and manipulate (and I’m fully aware this is all about her and not her unintended victim du jour which happened to be Keith). Still, her energies when she is drinking are life-sucking.
Without a doubt I know my sister had only the best intentions when agreeing to help us. She recently lost her job so working with us would afford her some financial relief. We appreciated the help for a couple of days but given the emotional and physical complexities of this move and rehab, dealing with drunken drama is entirely too exhausting. My sister texted to apologize for being “stupid” – her innocuous framing of the weekend. While we framed the events as offensive and obnoxious. To no matter, ain’t nobody spending the energies to sheetrock over that mess – we thanked her, paid her, and sent her home.
We’re dealing with many other forms of framing; baby momma, our granddaughter’s mother, and our granddaughter are “temporarily” living rent-free in our small rental home for which we rely financially. Baby momma and our son met when both were hospitalized for mental health complications approximately 4 years ago. Baby momma has quite the misplaced sense of entitlement, but her frame of reference is quite different from ours. That’s a whole other blog…but knowing this small bit may give you a better understanding of our need for refuge.
And to whomever is reading this…I KNOW you’re dealing with or have dealt with your own degrees of familiar chaos and framing of circumstances, too! And if you can honestly say you haven’t dealt with familiar chaos, the chances are good YOU are the chaos.
Despite the weekend events, much was accomplished at yonderways. The Acorn has been prepped for painting for which we plan to accomplish in the next two evenings. The Oak underwent much demolition thanks to Keith and our son! Below is a picture of the view from what will be the new front entrance. Imagine the frame completely gone and the back wall sporting two french doors with transoms overlooking the screened back porch. The new kitchen will be located to the right (former dining area). Since this picture was taken all appliances and remaining cabinets have been removed.
